'Sic is Mos Vado'

Notes from the Chicago Airport

2009-04-08T20:12:00.000-07:00

Catching connecting flights can be interesting... or maybe I just refuse to allow life to be boring.
Here it is:

1. Starbucks grande no water soy chai.. check!
2. I have seen 3 women with wedding dresses.. I'm punching the next one square in the face.
3. Since when do women wear those Jewish hat things.. ?
4. The most unattractive guy can throw on a navy uniformand be attractive. If he travels in a group of 12.. Even better
5. I'm all for families doing stuff together but maybe not doing drugs and riding the escalator around and around.
6. Chili's should serve fried food starting at 7AM those traveling drunk.
7. There is a 10 year old wandering around lost. I would help.. But it's mildly entertaining. And I hate kids.
8. Note to moms: Do NOT dress your 16 year old son in an Aeropostle sweat suit. It's just rude.
9. Beautiful by Michael Buble is playing. Classic.
10. Yeah.. Give your 6 year old daughter a bigger bag of McDonald's. The one the size of her body isn't big enough. Are you trying to kill her?! Shit.
11. Ha. If I EVER catch anyone I know wearing a pin with a picture of their kid on it, I will never let it go. Never.
12. Neon yellow vests? That's embarrassing.
13. My gate says I'm headed to Cancun. I wish.
14. Bitch. If you're not charging something, get out of recharging area. People have dying phones.
15. No. Outlets do not double as Internet providers. No. Jesus... THINK!
16. Matching family vacation tshirts. Enough said.
17.I hate baby talk. If they don't understand your normal voice what makes you think they will understand a fucked up chipmunk voice?
18. AT&T should have stuck with "more bars in more places." The new campaine sucks penguin penis.
19. Olypics 2016 Chicago. I'm goin. Michael Phelps told me to.
20. Gay marriage legal in Iowa. Just missed my chance.
21. Pause: nap
22. Well.. people still use harmonicas?!? Fucking great. [End nap].
23. I went to the restroom. When I opened the door there was a little girl standing at my door. Scared the shit out of me.
24. Flight 642: delayed because of snow in NY. Just called Ben.. No snow. You lying fucks.

N.

14 million

2009-03-30T16:05:00.000-07:00

What we would buy with 14 million dollars:

Our Penthouse in NYC
The Strand
Asparagus Plantation
Buy land in Africa for our giraffes and elephants
Child slaves
Put a Starbucks for our penthouse
French tutor to follow us around
Summer house in the Hamptons
The M&M factory
House Southern France
2 New Finland, 1 Cavalier King Charles
Hot Personal trainers
The Container Store
3 purple vespas
Amie wants the new iPhone
100 sq foot island with lots of rotten fruit for the Queen of Saudi Arabia
3 Boob jobs
Private Lil Wayne Concert ALL THE TIME.

N. A. & L.

Delta... you are FIRED.

2009-03-21T09:45:00.000-07:00

1. Nicolette should never fly before 2PM.
2. Penn Station should be a child-free zone.
3. Delta needs to be fired.

What made me think I could wake up at 9AM on 3 hours of sleep? No idea. Woke up late, 0 Starbucks, ran to Penn Station, just in time. NOT. When the lady at the front desk told me to go to track 7... I thought she meant track 7, but apparently it is CODE for "I have no effing idea so I'm just going to throw a number out there." Track 7 was not headed to Newark Airport; "Not even close" as the train dude confirmed. So, missed my train. Next step was to stare at a large screen until my track popped up next to "TWD" or some shit. Instead of "Newark Airport," New Jersey Transit thought it would be cute to put 3 random letters next to the train stop to signify the airport stop. Brilliant. So I'm standing in the middle of Penn Station, almost in tears and someone drags their child past me as the thing is screaming... ew. I have never wanted to hurt a child more in my life. Gross. Why must I be subject to such torture. My train popped up, I ran to the track, got there just in time and was on my way to Newark airport.... late, as in I might miss my plane late. Yeah. FML.

So I get to the tram at Newark airport and of course, have to ride the tram to the very last terminal. Once out, I ran as fast as I could, dragging my suitcase behind me. EVERY possible extra step I could have taken... I did. So convenient. The delta people were no help. AT ALL. But I somehow made it to my gate with 3.5 minutes to spare only to find out that my flight had been delayed an hour. Perfect. So now I was sitting waiting and couldn't go get Starbucks for fear that my plane would leave without me. Finally on the plane, we sat for another hour. Ha. It was awesome.

Flight = FING TERRIBLE. Child, sitting behind me. Kicking seat. Not the worst part. I was quietly taking a nap... minding my own business and this alien goblin child reaches through the seats and touches my arm. WHY IN THE WORLD WOULD THAT EVER BE OKAY?! No. I was done. I was ready to hop back on a plane to New York.

In Atlanta... still stuck on plane. Connecting flight leaves in 11 minutes. I push past first class not without scolding. An old man decided to mumble to me.. "Calm down." Bad idea. I made sure he clearly understood why I was in a hurry and why he should probably not comment on my hasty movements again. Plane door opens. 7 minutes til my flight TAKES OFF. AWESOME. I don't think I could have run faster if I was hoping for the gold medal in the Olympics. I got to my gate and they were still there... and it was delayed, 20 minutes. Perfect... FOOD. Vending machine 20 yards away and back. Doors closed. Tears fall. I'm yelling at onlooking civilians, questioning the Delta people, pleading them to let me on, called my mom and cried to her. I was a mess. Running around the wing like a mad woman trying to get on my plane. Nope. Panic attack set in. I found a small corner, curled up and listened to Lil Wanye on my iPod. It helped.

New connecting flight. Left 6 hours later. Eventually got to De Moines. Justin was there. Made me smile for the first time that day.

Never fly Delta. They will fuck you over.

N.

March 4, 2009 7:29 PM

2009-03-04T19:29:00.000-08:00

It has been a week more. Escape was found on 40th street for approximately 5 days, leaving pilgrims behind in savaged quarters.

I returned to worsened living conditions. Its dark and I am forced to live by candles. Hair has crawled out of the drain and now sits perched on the tiles of the shower. Dirty socks stake camp at the base of the toilet. A white towel serves as a rug, taking fingerprints of the dirt that collects.

The Queen of Siberia has draped our furniture in wax. Green wax. Now it is hard to recognize the brown of the desert from the seemingly green of the jungle.

The flicker of flame reminds us that fire is only a candlestick away but we can already feel the warmth of its destruction. When her eyes shut, our soul finds peace but now even the absence of her iris’ cause risk. Our sanity is at stake.

A. & N.

I have 3 points.

2009-03-02T18:17:00.000-08:00

So... I am not mentally retarded and generally have a grasp on the major concepts of life but there are a few things I just can't get past.

First on the list would have to be...

Why the FUCK would anyone find it necessary to blast horrific music in the living room of an apartment shared by four. Not only is this "music" blasting in our common living area from a PC, but at 9:26. Now I'm gonna take a long shot and assume that 9:30ish is a reasonable hour for it to be relatively quiet in order for people to, I don't know.... write papers maybe!? I mean, we DO go to the King's College where we write papers like it's nobodies business. Back to the music, seriously?!? It's out of control. Get yourself together and turn that crap off.

2nd:
I think I would be willing to argue that "racist" is one of the most overused and incorrectly used words in the English language. Let's skip the bullshit. Here it is.

1. There is a difference between acknowledging diversity and discriminating.
2. If you choose to NOT see "color" you are implying that the differences between people are in fact bad, when in reality it's quite the opposite.
3. Diversity is a good thing. People are and should be proud of where they come from. Then why should we pretend it doesn't exist?
4. Racism isn't going anywhere until people are willing to accept that they are accepted.
5. If you can't think of a better word than "racist" to express your opinion then keep it to yourself.

Lastly (maybe)
When all Manhattan schools are canceled and all workers are allowed an extra 2 hours to get to work because of the effing blizzard you would think that maybe one class at the King's College would be canceled. Yep... no. Why? Because we are aspiring to be leaders that will one day lead strategic public and private institutions of the world. Yeah, eff my life. I could have gone to Chico but noooooooo. I had to go to the school where you almost die trying to become some sort of expert in the fields of politics, economics, and philosophy. Awesome.

Okay. Done.
Kinda. BLAH.
Life is rude.

N.

February 25th 2009 11:23PM

2009-02-25T20:09:00.000-08:00

It's been two weeks, living conditions are rough. Mice with bones so little they can fit in the tiniest crack beneath our bedroom door. On the other side of that bedroom door live bed bugs. The scariest vermin known to sleepers...everywhere. Bites along my leg, I don't know when or how...just who.

It's so hot these days, grains of sand seeping up through the carpet while the dial on the heater is broken...it won't turn off high. The queen is the happiest she has been, since the big move to what is now...Saudia Arabia.

While there is a drought in the living room and sleeping quarters, the bathroom remains flooded at least three times a day. Toilet paper is constantly running low, forcing us to use paper towels that clog the new york sewer system. Water is going to have to be rationed soon..as well as toilet paper. Too many showers, yet I havent showered in weeks.

We ran out of mozzarella today. Asparagus in its rawest form. Thankfully, we have enough half-eaten apples to last us a while.

Space is low, books now take up residence in our bath tub, as well as using the Oxford Annotated Bible as both toilet paper and for cockroach squashing. Black seeps from its edges as it kills one more of the creepy crawlers that is the cockroach colony.

Mold is growing back. We thought we conquered it months ago. The pain is cracking and it is back with vengeance. Time spent in a closed shoebox bathroom is also being rationed due to toxic chemicals growing on the ceiling above us.

A week ago we ran out of room for the little food we have. Boxes of pasta and loaves of bread fall from the shelf...not that we could have eaten it anyways because the heat destroys all that is edible.

Victory though will prevail. It has to.

A. & N.

Commitment... really?!?

2009-02-09T08:13:00.001-08:00

I realize that another post about Starbucks is outright barbarous butttt... this is my blog. So shut up and drive. Or ride. Point: I'm going to do it anyway.

"The Way I See It #76"
The irony of commitment is that
it's deeply liberating - in work, in
play, in love. The act frees you
from the tyranny of your internal
critic, from the fear that likes to
dress itself up and parade around
as rational hesitation. To commit is
to remove your head as the barrier
to your life.
- Anne Morriss

WTF?!? @##&@*$*#

Why why why, do I keep getting this cup?? This quote has been posted on my daily Starbucks cup for over 2 weeks now. I feel like there is no truly significant need for this nonsense and it should probably end soon. And no, I'm not crazy psycho, and yes I have a life... I would not normally take the time to complain about this ridiculousness that IS my life. However, read the quote again. If you know anything about me, you know this is the exact OPPOSITE! of how I feel. Commitment... really?!? Gross. Geez louissszzzzzz!! My love for "The Way I See It" is slowly wearing off. I get enough of this bs from the rest of the world, and now... from a corporation. Give me an effing break.

Rude.
Nic$Mill OUT.

N.

nskidmore@tkc.edu

2009-02-03T20:29:00.000-08:00

I may or may not throw myself off the fire escape of Herald Towers if I get another TKC e-mail today. It sounds dramatic... but it is a very real possibility. I mean... I have only received 10 e-mails today, seem a little excessive? My TKC account is raping me and there is no way out!! I feel like a trapped child (ew. gross) inside one of those plastic ball net contraptions. You know... the ones in McDonalds.. ew McDonalds...

Anyway.... the point of this rant is, well nothing really but to complain. TKC. Tits! It runs my life. And thanks to the "Pimp Machine" (iPhone), I am continually reminded of my leash that is... my student e-mail. Welcome to my world...

NEW MESSAGES 2/3/09
Final Agenda for Council Meeting
Revised February Calendar
Free Financial Planning Seminar
Great Career Connection
FREE COFFEE!!
Breakbreakers, Last Reminder
Leadership and Internship Opportunities
Temptation Book Forum
Intro to Econ
Elections for Student Body President
Books

Blah Blah BLAHHH
Geez. I do not have the time nor the desire to read all your bullshit. The only one that sounds in any way worth my energy would be "Free Coffee," which in fact, was a very deceiving subject. A. Nothing is free. B. Why the hell would I take the time to go to the link provided and follow further instructions in order to get this free cup of coffee when I can walk down the street and get a Starbucks. DUH. Not going to happen.

Now normally when I am annoyed by a curtain form of communication... I get rid of it. (Example: Old phone number. If I never text you back... you annoy me. Leave me alone. ) However, in this case, that is not an option. I don't think it's even possible. Balls!!!

If you don't know where I am or what I'm doing... it's because I am hiding. Don't ask me to make plans... I won't. I don't even know what "plans" entail and I'd rather not. I don't count on anyone. I do what I want.

TITS!!
TKC, you stress me out.

I can't take this nonsense. Give me a dollar if you wanna hollarr.
I'm a mess

N.

Notes from Home:

2009-01-12T18:37:00.000-08:00

1. "Famous In A Small Town" by Miranda Lambert

2. Ellie's = thee best food ever. I missed it so.

3. Rule #1: Do not swing shotgun around, pointing it at strangers, while at the shooting range.

4. neutral. clutch in. first gear. clutch out. gas.

5. Mervyns is out. Kohls is in.

6. There IS a Starbucks between Redwood Valley and Oroville (although, there isn't one in Redwood Valley OR Oroville) ... it's in the casino in Clearlake.

7. Weed really is unavoidable.

8. There is still NOTHING to do in Mendo.

N.

I fly like paper get high like planes...

2008-12-18T23:54:00.000-08:00

Leaving New York has always been an emotional affair. The question that always captivated my thoughts was: will I even return to this city I have so quickly fallen in love with. My trip to the airport today was paired with a very unfamiliar feeling. As my cab sailed out of Manhattan and through Queens and the skyline faded behind me, I realized that this was the first time I would be leaving New York knowing that I would soon return. It was one of the moments when I realized that this is my new home.

It seems so strange to be leaving home to go home. To be excited for overpasses, Jack-in-the-Box, trees, and driving, things I had taken for granted for obvious reasons. It’s amazing to think that even if I had wanted to, there is no possible way I could have drove a car these last five months. Life in New York is definitely noticeably different… duh. Every little thing I do is molded and transformed into the “New York way;” it’s become routine.

What am I going to do for 3 weeks without Starbucks out my front door? Will I remember how to drive? Do I really have to drive 20 minutes to get anything I might need… why can’t I just take the F train?! And why doesn’t Muhammad deliver to the middle of effing NO WHERE?

Mr. Pilot said I have to turn lappy off. Home is 20 minutes to the west and 7 hours back east.

N.

Welcome to Wendy's.. let me ruin your day.

2008-12-11T18:21:00.000-08:00

Okay.

Don't hate me because YOU work at Wendy's.
Get a loan, go to college, get a real job and smile. Geez louisszzzzzzzz.

N.

"The Way I See It" is damn Starbucks is messin with my routine!

2008-11-19T20:53:00.000-08:00

What the balls is up with the Starbucks holiday cups?? For those of you who don't know (don't say anything because I might have to harm you... or myself) on the back of every Starbucks cup is a little quote titled "The Way I See It" followed by a number. These inspirational quotes are a perfect way to start off your day. My day is always at least 20% better when I can order that "grande soy, 4 pump, no water, chai," sprinkle the cinnamon dulce on top, make sure the cup, lid and sleeve all line up, find my destination and read my "The Way I See It." It's a glorious thing. One of the little things that brightens my otherwise mundane morning.

Last week. Holiday cups. What the hell??

Alright, so I'm not a big fan of holiday cups, lets just throw that out there and get it over with. They don't match the sleeves and they are just out of control. Second, why do we have holiday cups already?? It's not even Thanksgiving yet?? Calm down Starbucks... calm down. But worst of all... no "The Way I See It." Nope, not kidding. Really. Not there. This may seem ridiculous and ever childish, however, it is a devastating discovery. I don't see the difficulty in putting the little encouraging quotes on the holiday cups. Is it really that hard?? I think not. People drink your coffee because they like consistency, they like stability.. and you are no longer providing that. Give the people what they want!! Give them the dumb nonsense that is quotes on a cup.

I guess I will be waiting until these holidays are over and the cups run out to have my calming quotes back. Until then I have a couple favorites to hold me over. And yes, people will be hearing me complain until then. Politics at 9am will not be the same again until this ridiculousness that is holidays is over!!

The Way I See It #293

The way I see it
Isn't necessarily
The way you see it
Or the way it is
Or ought to be
What's more important
Is that we're all
Looking for it
And a way to see it.
- Desi Di Nardo

See... you feel relaxed already...
This is just nonsense! Damn Starbucks is messin with my routine!!

N.

the ER

2008-11-18T12:21:00.000-08:00

From my 6 hour visit to the NYU Medical Center ER, I have one question.... well I have two, but only one appropriate one...

Shouldn't a nurse, like a legit nurse, know how to draw blood. I feel like if I'm going into the ER for fear of appendasidus, there is no reason for my arm to be shooting out blood. I shouldn't have to look at my arm and see RED. Furthermore, if you are a nurse and you make a mistake taking someone's blood, do not say "UH OH." I thought this was a known fact but apparently not. Just throwin it out there... you can throw it right back.

N.

TWLOHA

2008-11-16T14:21:00.000-08:00

November 13th was the national To Write Love On Her Arms day. I was so encouraged and inspired by the amount of support that was shown, especially from those close to me. This amazing cause has a special place in my heart and I can't wait to see the amount of change it will bring to the suffering people of America.
To Write Love On Her Arms.
this isn't an organization.
it's an opportunity..
to love and be loved.

She has known such great pain; haunted dreams as a child, the near-constant presence of evil ever since. She has felt the touch of awful naked men, battled depression and addiction, and attempted suicide. Her arms remember razor blades, fifty scars that speak of self-inflicted wounds. Six hours after I meet her, She is feeling trapped, two groups of "friends" offering opposite ideas. Everyone is asleep. The sun is rising. She drinks long from a bottle of liquor, takes a razor blade from the table and locks herself in the bathroom. She locks herself in the bathroom. She cuts herself, using the blade to write "FUCK UP" large across her left forearm. To Write Love On Her Arms is a non-profit movement dedicated to presenting hope and finding help for those struggling with depression, addiction, self-injury and suicide. TWLOHA exists to encourage, inform, inspire, and also to invest directly into treatment and recovery. You were created to love and be loved. You were meant to live life in relationship with other people, to know and be known. You need to know that your story is important and that you're part of a bigger story. You need to know that your life matters.

love is the movement.
http://www.twloha.com

Yes We Can

2008-11-13T07:43:00.000-08:00

Yes, Barack Obama is now the President elect... FREAK OUT.

People need to calm down and take a deep breath. Maybe attend a yoga session, get a drink or something. Obama is not a socialist, he is not the Messiah, nor the antiChrist. duh. Paulin is far from the oval office and this makes my heart smile. Obama will not be deciding if abortion is legal or not, so if that is your only concern... I guess this is as far as you have to read. Lastly, he will be your President of the United States in 2009, so get over it before then, he deserves your respect.

Don't MOVE! However, if you do decide to move, I wouldn't pick China... communist country?? Yes. If you are trying to escape the "socialism" that is about to swallow our country whole, don't move to a socialist country. Furthermore, if you feel the need to move because you don't appreciate the country you live in, please do. If you can't appreciate the amazing country that has come so far, maybe you should move. If you're not thankful for the lives that are given for your freedom everyday, move. If you can't give a moment of your mindless thoughts to those who die for people they have never met, please move.

No, Obama is not the Messiah, but that doesn't mean he is the antiChrist either. Who's place is it to designate the antiChrist? Not mine, not yours. Lets leave this up to God. I wouldn't want to be responsible to appointing the WRONG antiChrist... that would be all bad.

If you can't rejoice in the fact that Obama is now the President elect, just be happy that Palin is far far away from the oval office. Every time this thought shoots to my head my heart warms. It terrified me to think that we had come this close to seeing Pallin in the White House. If (and lets admit it... the dude is old) McCain were to die in office, it would be President Pallin, and that is a scary thought. Someone who thinks she has experience with foreign affairs because she lives close to Russia?? REALLY?!?! Lets just rejoice in the fact that, Pallin is back home in Alaska and far from D.C.

For those who voted McCain simply because Obama is "pro-abortion," you are an idiot. He is not pro-abortion, he is pro-choice. And no, he is not pro-choice because he believes that abortion is right or the best way to do things. He is pro-choice because he believes that he cannot press his beliefs on other people. And while I feel very strongly against abortion, I'm not sure it is the most important topic to take into consideration concerning the election. Seeing as, abortion and gay marriage are currently regulated by the states, not federal government. So it isn't even within Obama's jurisdiction to legalize abortion and gay marriage. Maybe focus on something that the President elect will actually be working hands on with, the war and the economy. That is what is really important right now and that is what we need to be concerned about.

Lastly, Obama may not be the best President in history, but how are we to know. He will be our President of the United States in January and needs to be respected regardless.

If you still have hard feelings about outcome of the election, at least consider this. On November 4, 2008, the first black man ever to be elected President of the United States, stood in front of the American people and accepted his position as Commander and Chief. This is huge! Take joy in the fact that we no longer live in a divided country. That we may have different ideas and opinions but we have overcome the racial barrier that has divided our country for so long. This is a changing moment in history and you were here. Be thankful that you were able to witness this moment. This moment will be in the minds and hearts of Americans forever.

4 Days

2008-10-30T08:18:00.001-07:00

I received this article from a friend this morning and while reading it I couldn't help but laugh. It is ridiculous that anyone would take this seriously. Yes, it will probably negatively affect Obama's campaign. Yes, he might have been wise to leave this statement out of this speech. But it is also absurd to honestly believe that a presidential candidate would jeopardize his campaign with a statement such as this without stepping down directly after. As my roommate pointed out, "It's like Innes saying... 'This is what Plato is saying.. but hey, I'm a terrible teacher, I don't know how I got my degree.. hell, what am I talking about?' Sarcasm" Obama would be stupid to honestly say he would make a terrible president, 4 days before the election!! This is obviously sarcasm.

I do not consider myself exceptionally knowledgeable on the topics of political elections or campaigning strategies. This is simply a "naive" opinion. Make your own conclusion... you have 4 days.

www.theonion.com/content/news/i_would_make_a_bad_president_obama

Window Wonders

2008-10-29T19:09:00.000-07:00

There are the obvious differences between my ittybitty hometown Ukiah and New York City. For instance, thee oh... MILLIONS of people walking on my street every day, lack of silence, wilderness = Central Park, driving is suddenly so foreign, everything is easily accessible, you meet people like Mary-kate and Ashley Olsen (yeah.. that happened), and elevators (Ukiah has 1, New York has... a few).

I never imagined that looking out my window would be one of these major differences between my old mundane life in hickville and my new "big city" lifestyle. Looking out my window used to be a relaxing glance at nature, a way to see if the mail-man had arrived, but mostly just a way to check the weather. However, I have recently discovered that looking out your window in New York is more of a sport/hobby/art/entertaining way to spend an otherwise rather dull evening.

The first thing I did upon entering my new apartment this last August was run to the window beside my soon to be unbelievably comfortable bed (popular vote). As I glanced out my window, I could see the always hectic intersection of 34th and Broadway, a perfect view of the Macy's store and beyond that, the beautiful New York skyline. Yeah......... no. I could see the back of a hotel and some offices. I decided to look a little harder, sure I would find something interesting. I stood on the very tippiest of my toes and leaned over the awkward AC unit. Alright... we've got Duane Reade Pharmacy with a blinking "ma" in pharmacy.. that's fun. The back of the hotel has a plethora of posters on it, that'll be helpful. We've got Ricks, not sure what it is.. but they be poppin. And it looks like a nice little erotic clothing store, or so I'm guessing by the "LIVE GIRLS" pink light-up sign. Hmmm... interesting.

Looking out my window became more of a break from reading The Republic of Plato or let's be honest... facebooking. And this is when things got a little more then interesting. The first time you look up from your computer screen and out your window to find someone standing right at the window in the building across from yours flapping their flappy arms by their sides holding odd shaped objects, it changes your life. And then you realize they are working out in a gym and the amazement level drops down a few notches. But for those initial few seconds your mind was on overdrive trying to figure out what the hell they were doing.

After this surprising experience, I decided that looking out my window was to become a regular occurrence. Next was the slightly inappropriate couple in the hotel room, ironically enough on the same floor as my own. I do not see the necessity in standing at your window in your underwear EVERY night. I know what they're looking at... the back of my building, trash, Subway, and weird enough, another exotic clothing store (yeah.. we have 2.. just in case?). I'm not sure where the excitement is in all that, but that's just me. My only request would be that next time, they close the curtains to turn down the bed, please?

You would assume that the men and women working in their offices would be doing just that... working. Interestingly, no. Amie (the cool roommate) and myself made a cute-lil-window-seat in one of our available windows which has since then become one of my favorite reading spots. As I was attempting to read a incredibly boring essay for Campbell's class, I gave into the temptation to look out the window and find something interesting to look at. Instead of finding someone picking their nose or dancing "alone" in their hotel, I encountered a extremely awkward moment. As I looked into an office window, I found a man and his secretary (at least for the purpose of this story) staring directly into my eyes. Alright, so it is difficult to know exactly what they were looking at, but it was close enough to make me jump. And lets just say I defiantly moved my reading session to the coach.

P.S. The car alarm that is currently blaring into my ear is very unappreciated and I'm wishing I could take a bat to its windshield. Moving on...

On to the best/worst of them all. I shutter now, just thinking of this traumatizing experience. I was hoping to be recovered by now, but I'm assuming a counselor is in order. Most recently, as I was diligently working on a paper at my desk, I glanced out the window. Mind you, this was not part of my new "hobby," just a simple glance out the window... only to lay my eyes upon the "ugly naked guy." Yes, I call him "ugly naked guy" and yes, from F.R.I.E.N.D.S. (THEE best show ever!) The unfortunate news is this man was really ugly and yes, he was defiantly naked. He was just standing at his window, curtains wide open, just kickin it. My body and mind immediately decided in unison that it was not only necessary to close my eyes but to throw my hands over them and scream. Needless to say, I was truly traumatized and I needed 15 minutes to myself in order to recover.

Even now, as I write this in my amazingly.. actually totally uncomfortable at the moment, window seat, I glance down at 33rd street only to see a unbelievably long line of people walking down the street. I would usually call them tourist but it looks as though they are heading to Rick's (poppin as usual). The line is never ending and they are all wearing the same hat. Strange you might say? No, it's New York. Strange is what we do. Strange is normal.

As my window gazing experiences continue, I hope to have many more amusing moments and pray to God that I never again see the "ugly naked guy." As you Mendo locals look out your uneventful windows and see 293846353282 trees and 35 birds along with 3 deer and a peacock, think of me and all the wonderfully amusing things I must be experiencing. As for you city folk, I would suggest the "window gazing" art. It will make you laugh on a sad day, give you something to do on an incredibly boring day, and help you procrastinate on your Politics reading! However, for those of you who decide to take up this tricky business, I have one warning for you: watch out for the "ugly naked guy." NO FUN.

Disclaimer: This blog is not Prof. Innes approved... I defiantly used too many unnecessary words.

That is all,