There are the obvious differences between my ittybitty hometown Ukiah and New York City. For instance, thee oh... MILLIONS of people walking on my street every day, lack of silence, wilderness = Central Park, driving is suddenly so foreign, everything is easily accessible, you meet people like Mary-kate and Ashley Olsen (yeah.. that happened), and elevators (Ukiah has 1, New York has... a few).
I never imagined that looking out my window would be one of these major differences between my old mundane life in hickville and my new "big city" lifestyle. Looking out my window used to be a relaxing glance at nature, a way to see if the mail-man had arrived, but mostly just a way to check the weather. However, I have recently discovered that looking out your window in New York is more of a sport/hobby/art/entertaining way to spend an otherwise rather dull evening.
The first thing I did upon entering my new apartment this last August was run to the window beside my soon to be unbelievably comfortable bed (popular vote). As I glanced out my window, I could see the always hectic intersection of 34th and Broadway, a perfect view of the Macy's store and beyond that, the beautiful New York skyline. Yeah......... no. I could see the back of a hotel and some offices. I decided to look a little harder, sure I would find something interesting. I stood on the very tippiest of my toes and leaned over the awkward AC unit. Alright... we've got Duane Reade Pharmacy with a blinking "ma" in pharmacy.. that's fun. The back of the hotel has a plethora of posters on it, that'll be helpful. We've got Ricks, not sure what it is.. but they be poppin. And it looks like a nice little erotic clothing store, or so I'm guessing by the "LIVE GIRLS" pink light-up sign. Hmmm... interesting.
Looking out my window became more of a break from reading The Republic of Plato or let's be honest... facebooking. And this is when things got a little more then interesting. The first time you look up from your computer screen and out your window to find someone standing right at the window in the building across from yours flapping their flappy arms by their sides holding odd shaped objects, it changes your life. And then you realize they are working out in a gym and the amazement level drops down a few notches. But for those initial few seconds your mind was on overdrive trying to figure out what the hell they were doing.
After this surprising experience, I decided that looking out my window was to become a regular occurrence. Next was the slightly inappropriate couple in the hotel room, ironically enough on the same floor as my own. I do not see the necessity in standing at your window in your underwear EVERY night. I know what they're looking at... the back of my building, trash, Subway, and weird enough, another exotic clothing store (yeah.. we have 2.. just in case?). I'm not sure where the excitement is in all that, but that's just me. My only request would be that next time, they close the curtains to turn down the bed, please?
You would assume that the men and women working in their offices would be doing just that... working. Interestingly, no. Amie (the cool roommate) and myself made a cute-lil-window-seat in one of our available windows which has since then become one of my favorite reading spots. As I was attempting to read a incredibly boring essay for Campbell's class, I gave into the temptation to look out the window and find something interesting to look at. Instead of finding someone picking their nose or dancing "alone" in their hotel, I encountered a extremely awkward moment. As I looked into an office window, I found a man and his secretary (at least for the purpose of this story) staring directly into my eyes. Alright, so it is difficult to know exactly what they were looking at, but it was close enough to make me jump. And lets just say I defiantly moved my reading session to the coach.
P.S. The car alarm that is currently blaring into my ear is very unappreciated and I'm wishing I could take a bat to its windshield. Moving on...
On to the best/worst of them all. I shutter now, just thinking of this traumatizing experience. I was hoping to be recovered by now, but I'm assuming a counselor is in order. Most recently, as I was diligently working on a paper at my desk, I glanced out the window. Mind you, this was not part of my new "hobby," just a simple glance out the window... only to lay my eyes upon the "ugly naked guy." Yes, I call him "ugly naked guy" and yes, from F.R.I.E.N.D.S. (THEE best show ever!) The unfortunate news is this man was really ugly and yes, he was defiantly naked. He was just standing at his window, curtains wide open, just kickin it. My body and mind immediately decided in unison that it was not only necessary to close my eyes but to throw my hands over them and scream. Needless to say, I was truly traumatized and I needed 15 minutes to myself in order to recover.
Even now, as I write this in my amazingly.. actually totally uncomfortable at the moment, window seat, I glance down at 33rd street only to see a unbelievably long line of people walking down the street. I would usually call them tourist but it looks as though they are heading to Rick's (poppin as usual). The line is never ending and they are all wearing the same hat. Strange you might say? No, it's New York. Strange is what we do. Strange is normal.
As my window gazing experiences continue, I hope to have many more amusing moments and pray to God that I never again see the "ugly naked guy." As you Mendo locals look out your uneventful windows and see 293846353282 trees and 35 birds along with 3 deer and a peacock, think of me and all the wonderfully amusing things I must be experiencing. As for you city folk, I would suggest the "window gazing" art. It will make you laugh on a sad day, give you something to do on an incredibly boring day, and help you procrastinate on your Politics reading! However, for those of you who decide to take up this tricky business, I have one warning for you: watch out for the "ugly naked guy." NO FUN.
Disclaimer: This blog is not Prof. Innes approved... I defiantly used too many unnecessary words.
That is all,
N.
