What we would buy with 14 million dollars:
Our Penthouse in NYC
The Strand
Asparagus Plantation
Buy land in Africa for our giraffes and elephants
Child slaves
Put a Starbucks for our penthouse
French tutor to follow us around
Summer house in the Hamptons
The M&M factory
House Southern France
2 New Finland, 1 Cavalier King Charles
Hot Personal trainers
The Container Store
3 purple vespas
Amie wants the new iPhone
100 sq foot island with lots of rotten fruit for the Queen of Saudi Arabia
3 Boob jobs
Private Lil Wayne Concert ALL THE TIME.
N. A. & L.
Monday, March 30, 2009
Saturday, March 21, 2009
Delta... you are FIRED.
1. Nicolette should never fly before 2PM.
2. Penn Station should be a child-free zone.
3. Delta needs to be fired.
What made me think I could wake up at 9AM on 3 hours of sleep? No idea. Woke up late, 0 Starbucks, ran to Penn Station, just in time. NOT. When the lady at the front desk told me to go to track 7... I thought she meant track 7, but apparently it is CODE for "I have no effing idea so I'm just going to throw a number out there." Track 7 was not headed to Newark Airport; "Not even close" as the train dude confirmed. So, missed my train. Next step was to stare at a large screen until my track popped up next to "TWD" or some shit. Instead of "Newark Airport," New Jersey Transit thought it would be cute to put 3 random letters next to the train stop to signify the airport stop. Brilliant. So I'm standing in the middle of Penn Station, almost in tears and someone drags their child past me as the thing is screaming... ew. I have never wanted to hurt a child more in my life. Gross. Why must I be subject to such torture. My train popped up, I ran to the track, got there just in time and was on my way to Newark airport.... late, as in I might miss my plane late. Yeah. FML.
So I get to the tram at Newark airport and of course, have to ride the tram to the very last terminal. Once out, I ran as fast as I could, dragging my suitcase behind me. EVERY possible extra step I could have taken... I did. So convenient. The delta people were no help. AT ALL. But I somehow made it to my gate with 3.5 minutes to spare only to find out that my flight had been delayed an hour. Perfect. So now I was sitting waiting and couldn't go get Starbucks for fear that my plane would leave without me. Finally on the plane, we sat for another hour. Ha. It was awesome.
Flight = FING TERRIBLE. Child, sitting behind me. Kicking seat. Not the worst part. I was quietly taking a nap... minding my own business and this alien goblin child reaches through the seats and touches my arm. WHY IN THE WORLD WOULD THAT EVER BE OKAY?! No. I was done. I was ready to hop back on a plane to New York.
In Atlanta... still stuck on plane. Connecting flight leaves in 11 minutes. I push past first class not without scolding. An old man decided to mumble to me.. "Calm down." Bad idea. I made sure he clearly understood why I was in a hurry and why he should probably not comment on my hasty movements again. Plane door opens. 7 minutes til my flight TAKES OFF. AWESOME. I don't think I could have run faster if I was hoping for the gold medal in the Olympics. I got to my gate and they were still there... and it was delayed, 20 minutes. Perfect... FOOD. Vending machine 20 yards away and back. Doors closed. Tears fall. I'm yelling at onlooking civilians, questioning the Delta people, pleading them to let me on, called my mom and cried to her. I was a mess. Running around the wing like a mad woman trying to get on my plane. Nope. Panic attack set in. I found a small corner, curled up and listened to Lil Wanye on my iPod. It helped.
New connecting flight. Left 6 hours later. Eventually got to De Moines. Justin was there. Made me smile for the first time that day.
Never fly Delta. They will fuck you over.
N.
2. Penn Station should be a child-free zone.
3. Delta needs to be fired.
What made me think I could wake up at 9AM on 3 hours of sleep? No idea. Woke up late, 0 Starbucks, ran to Penn Station, just in time. NOT. When the lady at the front desk told me to go to track 7... I thought she meant track 7, but apparently it is CODE for "I have no effing idea so I'm just going to throw a number out there." Track 7 was not headed to Newark Airport; "Not even close" as the train dude confirmed. So, missed my train. Next step was to stare at a large screen until my track popped up next to "TWD" or some shit. Instead of "Newark Airport," New Jersey Transit thought it would be cute to put 3 random letters next to the train stop to signify the airport stop. Brilliant. So I'm standing in the middle of Penn Station, almost in tears and someone drags their child past me as the thing is screaming... ew. I have never wanted to hurt a child more in my life. Gross. Why must I be subject to such torture. My train popped up, I ran to the track, got there just in time and was on my way to Newark airport.... late, as in I might miss my plane late. Yeah. FML.
So I get to the tram at Newark airport and of course, have to ride the tram to the very last terminal. Once out, I ran as fast as I could, dragging my suitcase behind me. EVERY possible extra step I could have taken... I did. So convenient. The delta people were no help. AT ALL. But I somehow made it to my gate with 3.5 minutes to spare only to find out that my flight had been delayed an hour. Perfect. So now I was sitting waiting and couldn't go get Starbucks for fear that my plane would leave without me. Finally on the plane, we sat for another hour. Ha. It was awesome.
Flight = FING TERRIBLE. Child, sitting behind me. Kicking seat. Not the worst part. I was quietly taking a nap... minding my own business and this alien goblin child reaches through the seats and touches my arm. WHY IN THE WORLD WOULD THAT EVER BE OKAY?! No. I was done. I was ready to hop back on a plane to New York.
In Atlanta... still stuck on plane. Connecting flight leaves in 11 minutes. I push past first class not without scolding. An old man decided to mumble to me.. "Calm down." Bad idea. I made sure he clearly understood why I was in a hurry and why he should probably not comment on my hasty movements again. Plane door opens. 7 minutes til my flight TAKES OFF. AWESOME. I don't think I could have run faster if I was hoping for the gold medal in the Olympics. I got to my gate and they were still there... and it was delayed, 20 minutes. Perfect... FOOD. Vending machine 20 yards away and back. Doors closed. Tears fall. I'm yelling at onlooking civilians, questioning the Delta people, pleading them to let me on, called my mom and cried to her. I was a mess. Running around the wing like a mad woman trying to get on my plane. Nope. Panic attack set in. I found a small corner, curled up and listened to Lil Wanye on my iPod. It helped.
New connecting flight. Left 6 hours later. Eventually got to De Moines. Justin was there. Made me smile for the first time that day.
Never fly Delta. They will fuck you over.
N.
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
March 4, 2009 7:29 PM
It has been a week more. Escape was found on 40th street for approximately 5 days, leaving pilgrims behind in savaged quarters.
I returned to worsened living conditions. Its dark and I am forced to live by candles. Hair has crawled out of the drain and now sits perched on the tiles of the shower. Dirty socks stake camp at the base of the toilet. A white towel serves as a rug, taking fingerprints of the dirt that collects.
The Queen of Siberia has draped our furniture in wax. Green wax. Now it is hard to recognize the brown of the desert from the seemingly green of the jungle.
The flicker of flame reminds us that fire is only a candlestick away but we can already feel the warmth of its destruction. When her eyes shut, our soul finds peace but now even the absence of her iris’ cause risk. Our sanity is at stake.
A. & N.
I returned to worsened living conditions. Its dark and I am forced to live by candles. Hair has crawled out of the drain and now sits perched on the tiles of the shower. Dirty socks stake camp at the base of the toilet. A white towel serves as a rug, taking fingerprints of the dirt that collects.
The Queen of Siberia has draped our furniture in wax. Green wax. Now it is hard to recognize the brown of the desert from the seemingly green of the jungle.
The flicker of flame reminds us that fire is only a candlestick away but we can already feel the warmth of its destruction. When her eyes shut, our soul finds peace but now even the absence of her iris’ cause risk. Our sanity is at stake.
A. & N.
Monday, March 2, 2009
I have 3 points.
So... I am not mentally retarded and generally have a grasp on the major concepts of life but there are a few things I just can't get past.
First on the list would have to be...
Why the FUCK would anyone find it necessary to blast horrific music in the living room of an apartment shared by four. Not only is this "music" blasting in our common living area from a PC, but at 9:26. Now I'm gonna take a long shot and assume that 9:30ish is a reasonable hour for it to be relatively quiet in order for people to, I don't know.... write papers maybe!? I mean, we DO go to the King's College where we write papers like it's nobodies business. Back to the music, seriously?!? It's out of control. Get yourself together and turn that crap off.
2nd:
I think I would be willing to argue that "racist" is one of the most overused and incorrectly used words in the English language. Let's skip the bullshit. Here it is.
1. There is a difference between acknowledging diversity and discriminating.
2. If you choose to NOT see "color" you are implying that the differences between people are in fact bad, when in reality it's quite the opposite.
3. Diversity is a good thing. People are and should be proud of where they come from. Then why should we pretend it doesn't exist?
4. Racism isn't going anywhere until people are willing to accept that they are accepted.
5. If you can't think of a better word than "racist" to express your opinion then keep it to yourself.
Lastly (maybe)
When all Manhattan schools are canceled and all workers are allowed an extra 2 hours to get to work because of the effing blizzard you would think that maybe one class at the King's College would be canceled. Yep... no. Why? Because we are aspiring to be leaders that will one day lead strategic public and private institutions of the world. Yeah, eff my life. I could have gone to Chico but noooooooo. I had to go to the school where you almost die trying to become some sort of expert in the fields of politics, economics, and philosophy. Awesome.
Okay. Done.
Kinda. BLAH.
Life is rude.
N.
First on the list would have to be...
Why the FUCK would anyone find it necessary to blast horrific music in the living room of an apartment shared by four. Not only is this "music" blasting in our common living area from a PC, but at 9:26. Now I'm gonna take a long shot and assume that 9:30ish is a reasonable hour for it to be relatively quiet in order for people to, I don't know.... write papers maybe!? I mean, we DO go to the King's College where we write papers like it's nobodies business. Back to the music, seriously?!? It's out of control. Get yourself together and turn that crap off.
2nd:
I think I would be willing to argue that "racist" is one of the most overused and incorrectly used words in the English language. Let's skip the bullshit. Here it is.
1. There is a difference between acknowledging diversity and discriminating.
2. If you choose to NOT see "color" you are implying that the differences between people are in fact bad, when in reality it's quite the opposite.
3. Diversity is a good thing. People are and should be proud of where they come from. Then why should we pretend it doesn't exist?
4. Racism isn't going anywhere until people are willing to accept that they are accepted.
5. If you can't think of a better word than "racist" to express your opinion then keep it to yourself.
Lastly (maybe)
When all Manhattan schools are canceled and all workers are allowed an extra 2 hours to get to work because of the effing blizzard you would think that maybe one class at the King's College would be canceled. Yep... no. Why? Because we are aspiring to be leaders that will one day lead strategic public and private institutions of the world. Yeah, eff my life. I could have gone to Chico but noooooooo. I had to go to the school where you almost die trying to become some sort of expert in the fields of politics, economics, and philosophy. Awesome.
Okay. Done.
Kinda. BLAH.
Life is rude.
N.
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